Why am I so tired and eating myself out of the house?

 

 Um, why am I so tired?  I asked Owen this the other day and we found ourselves temporarily stumped.  I'm sleeping well, getting anywhere from 6-9 hours of sleep a night, eating well....what could be the problem?  Oh right, we are in the midst of preparations for March 31-April 1st Umstead 100M!  That would make sense.  That must be why I am eating myself out of the house.  I have been making a conscience effort to eat better in between meals and to eat less sugar.  It doesn't help when I come home from work and head straight for the fridge to find it unpleasantly empty.  Lesson learned, I am stopping at the grocery store on the way home from work now.....

Why I didn't think of that before I'll never know.

Since the Ghost 50k in November, things have been going pretty well.  I ran Deception Pass 50k in December and I had a pretty good run there.  Deception Pass is a new Rainshadow Running Race and it was really a great course.  The trails were quite nice and bouncy, the scenery was beautiful, the food was great and the aid stations were packed with great volunteers.  My only complaint would be that the 25k-ers and the 50k-ers started at the same time making the lolly pop loops in the first 14-15 miles a bit congested.  It was hard to get around people.  When I had finally made it to a place where I could run my own pace and  I looked at my watch and it was 1hr 58 mins!  However, that's part of what happens when you don't sprint to the single track.  I'll know for next time.  After that, a really cool thing happened a few days later.....Owen and I got engaged!

That is the best news all year!  We are very excited!

After the exciting evening of getting engaged, soon enough it was the winter break and I had 11 days IN A ROW off from work.  I ran every day pretty much and worked out like a mad dog in the gym.  Slept, ate, layed around, went skiing, I truly relaxed during that time; in between activity!  Now it is 2012 and Umstead 100 is rapidly approaching.  I am trying to really put the miles in and still hit the boxing gym 4-5 days a week.  This is why I am so tired.  Although last week we had a big snow storm here in Seattle and the gym was closed most of those days.  What's a person to do?  Run more!  So Owen and I ran every day in the snow with screws in our shoes to keep from slipping.  It's much harder to run in the snow but I do think that it helps with technique.  Without really utilizing your core, you will slip and slide, even with the screws.  You hardly get a push off so it feels as though it takes more effort to move forward.  The snow didn't melt by Saturday, the long run day.  So we ran at the local Discovery Park which has a few different loops, the longest being just under 5 miles.  So 7 loops we did running the slush, ice slush water, some snow and mud and some pretty intense wind when you hit the path near the water.  Without the good friends we saw there, it would have been a long boring day in the slush.  But other runners were in the same boat, not being able to make it to the mountains because of all the snow.  So glad we were able to still knock out some miles and see some good friends.  I had my biggest week in about 3 years, 85 miles!  And after 85 miles for the week, I was still temporarily stumped as to why I am so tired and why I cannot stop eating....silly me. 



Thanksgiving weekend---5 days of NO WORK!

I am grateful to have job in these tough times, however, I am equally, if not more grateful to have time off.  I had a whole 5 days off with a race in the middle.  My niece is a freshman at Western Washington University and she came down on Wednesday to spend the weekend.  We spent the first 24 hours eating and watching movies.  Totally relaxing!
Thursday-I made an nontraditional T-day dinner.  I didn't know I would be "hosting" T day dinner until Tuesday evening.  And when I say "hosting" I use it quite loosely.  Basically, I made dinner for my niece, Owen and I and gave the dogs lots of snacks along the way.  I made sesame crusted salmon with orange miso sauce, scalloped sweet potatoes, asparagus and we had the yummy-not an ounce of nutrition-white rolls with it all.  We all overate of course and then had pumpkin pie and ice cream.  I was not prepared to make a turkey so that is what I came up with....it was tasty enough and we were full and the dogs were excited for nibbles.
Friday-more relaxing

Saturday- the Ghost 50k. Scott Krell does a great job of putting on this event.  There are options for a half marathon, full marathon or 50k.  Last year I had done the 50k and this year I thought I'd sign up for it again.  The course is actually the old Seattle Marathon course and take you out and back a few times along Lake Washington.  The "Official" Seattle Marathon is the following day, Sunday.  I am considering this MY official Seattle 50k because I prefer it to the actual marathon, it's fun, low key and it's 5 miles longer.  Plus, I know everyone at the aid stations so it's a social event as well.  I haven't done a race since Big Horn 100 in June and have taken some time off mentally from running and physically, sort of, as well.  I stopped putting in my regular mileage for a few months and then recently started back up again.  I of course supplemented the time I would have spent running doing other physical things so  I didn't go crazy.  I looked up my time from last year thinking I would compare it to this year and see if that time off was helpful.  Last year at the 50k I went a 4:49 so I was hoping to break 4:40.  I was using my friend's Garmin 305 so I could keep track of pace and the eventual demise.  I actually ate something a few hours before the race to get some calories.  The weather was perfect for running, maybe not for volunteering, but running wise, I couldn't have asked for anything better and that is saying something for the latter part of November in the PNW!  The run started and we were all mixed together, half marathoners, marathoners and 50k-ers.  Plus there was an early start so it was unusual not to see fellow runners along most of the way.  And since we were running on multi-use sidewalks, there were lots of other people and dogs.  The nice thing about seeing the other runners so much is that it's nice to say hello and a "nice job' here or a 'looking good' there to take my mind off the fatigue that eventually came.  But oddly, I felt great almost the whole way. I was into my music, I was excited to get back on the horse and do a race again and I just felt happy.  I got tight a few times in the middle, hip flexor, groin, etc, but then it went away or I got used to it.  The last few miles felt long to me, I was getting pretty tired and I am certainly not used to running on the road that far.  But all in all, it was a great experience to get out and get involved again in doing a race, AND feeling healthy.  As I always do over the course of a run, I calculate how many miles I have left and then go through the possibilities of what time I can go.  As I was passing the start/finish for the last loop around Seward Park, I was at about 3:50 or so and I thought....um, maybe I can break 4:20.... I kept looking at the Garmin and trying to go faster, but my legs were moving as fast as they could.  I was swinging my arms like crazy, trying not to lean over, etc.  I was coming down to the last few yards as best as I could...but alas, I came in right at 4:20!  So I didn't break 4:20, but I certainly surpassed my expectations.  It has been a long time since I felt healthy during a race and really THAT is what I am most thankful for.  I have been waiting to get back on the horse for a while now.  Maybe it's a short lived wellness, but in any case, it felt great to run healthy again.

Owen running smooth and happy!
photo by Lind Say

Healthy and Happy
photo by Lind Say

Another cool thing about this race is the finishers award.  How about this bottle opener?  It's actually a useful household item.  Very good idea Scott!

After the run, Owen, my niece and I went out for pizza and cookies, of course.  Owen went home to sleep and get ready to run the Seattle marathon the next day b/c that's just how crazy he is.  I took my niece to the movies and got all crampy in the seats.  The movie, the Descendants, was awesome.  My legs were achy through the whole movie, but I was highly entertained none the less.
Sunday- More relaxing, marathon cheering in the wind and rain, eating and a big drive up to Bellingham and back in the apocalyptic rain.
A great 5 day weekend it was and now it's back to reality.....HARSH!

Time, where does it go?

It seems like just yesterday it was the Pacific Northwest's version of summer.  I went for a run after work last night in the dark, wet, cold.  As I was getting pummeled by wind and rain I thought, 'wow, it's November!' And you know what that means.....HOLIDAY PARTIES and HOLIDAY TREATS and a giant tendency for me to feel better about being lazy, every one is doing it!



Me, in a dog body

 

Me, in a dog body, showing no willpower

It's rough adjusting to the weather change and darkness.  However, if I keep in mind that I never feel worse after a run , I am confident that will keep me motivated.  My motivation has not waned for the 5 AM class. In fact, it has only grown.  It certainly is not easy getting up that early and working out pretty hard then going to work.  It's not so hard to go to work after as it is to be a bit sleepy and then shock my body by jacking up my heart rate at 5AM.  But it's been good for me as it is so different from what I am used to.  As the old expression goes, train your weaknesses.  I am not sure how jumping out of bed and soon after, without coffee, jacking my heart rate up is going to help me, but the actual workouts will, whatever time they take place.  I have never done a strength training program before and now that I am almost done with the first 3 weeks, I am really seeing improvements.  I have forgotten how motivating it is to see improvements, I don't see that in my running.  I am quite sure that is why I continue to get up before the birds to do it. 



This is my instructor!

I think the overall strength I am gaining is helping me in everything I do.  I just feel an overall sense of balance and strength that I haven't felt before.  Even though I have been doing these classes since mid-July, I think it has been recent that I really feel the changes and am able to apply them to functional movement.  Keeping that in mind, I bet it will help with the running....In fact, just the other day I was running and I was thinking, what muscle is that I am feeling?  That feels foreign. Turns out, I DO have a hamstring, in fact, I have 2.  Then the other day I woke up and I though, um, what muscle is that that feels kinda sore?  Turns out, I WAS using my glutes.  These are muscles that I think I have neglected for so long and they went away.  Wouldn't you, if someone ignored you for centuries?  Well, I have convinced the hamstrings and the glutes to come out of hiding and come get reunited with their former mates.  The quads were very happy to see them again.  Now the quads have decided to go on a 3 day weekend and leave the housework to the the hamstrings and glutes.  Soon they will all be reunited, working together and we'll have a party. 

Also in the class, from the instructor you see just above, I have learned several expressions.  He oftern shouts, "HEY, NO CADILLACIN!"  I didn't know what this meant at first.  Now I know it means stop being a slow poke, move your butt.  Then I learned what it meant to "get yoked." I have no intentions of "getting yoked", but I do like saying it.  I have learned how to do a "clean" and "jerk".  I can understand why they call it a "clean", but why a "jerk?"  I'll have to google that at some point. 



Relapse Prevention and the Gambler

Cascade Crest 100 is approaching, it is this weekend.  And although I **know** I am doing the right thing by sitting this one out, it's becoming increasingly difficult to see myself on the sidelines.  I so much want to be out there running.  I keep telling myself what a good thing that is, that my desire and my passion for running is as alive as ever and the fact that I am chomping at the bit to race is a good sign.  I had been feeling so burnt out but kept pushing myself harder and harder to get the results I was looking for and things were falling apart.  This scenario brought great angst, confusion, frustration and wonderment in terms of why I was doing what I was doing and why I felt so compelled and driven to keep banging my head on the wall over and over again only to wind up with the same headache.  Finally I took the necessary step and changed my approach completely.  The change has been significant.  I am feeling healthier and healthier and stronger and stronger.  I am keeping fit and running just enough to keep some muscle memory there.  Last week I think I ran 17 or 18 miles total, and not all at once.  I had very minimal leg pain.  I decided to test things out further by riding my bike to the best yoga class ever; Jasyoga with Erin, on Sunday.  I have not been able to ride my bike without pain for well over a year now.  I hopped on my bike and rode gently to Fremont with no pain!  On the way there, I was feeling more optimistic than I have felt this whole 18 months and turned to Owen and said, 'um, maybe I could do Cascade Crest!'  It was a fleeting moment of excitement!  Then I thought, really....really....!?  I must prevent this relapse! I know I am passionate about running, and some say I have an addiction to running.  But I think that now that I have changed my approach to running and have taken a step back to heal and gain strength and confidence in what my body can do, I realise that it is my approach that is addictive and probably insane.  I had written a while back that I thought I might be insane for continuing to run with pain despite trying everything I could think of besides stepping back to rest the injury.  I would set out for a run and think, now this time, it will be different because this time I went to physical therapy, or this time I did ART, or insert action here.  Even after I wrote that post back in April, I continued to run and train in the exact same way.  I guess I am slow to make change.  However, now that I have made some changes and I see the progress, I still have to be conscious and refrain from my previous mentality.....keep on this path because it is much healthier for me and much more wise and I am happier knowing that this is the right thing to do.  So when I think about wanting to run Cascade Crest this year, in 5 days, I must remember to prevent this relapse in mental thought.  I thought to myself this morning as I was walking to work....what can be my motto right now to keep me true to myself....and I thought of the Kenny Rogers' song, The Gambler. 

Kenny say's:

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,

Know when to walk away and know when to run.

You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.

There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done

(keep it real says Kenny)

___________________________________________________________________________

Basically, I need patience and smarts.  I gotta keep my fingers crossed! 

 

This weekend I did something pretty fun and quite different though.  I did the Great Urban Race here in Seattle with some fellow runners.  It was a blast running from clue to clue in pursuit of mummies at Ye Old Curiosity Shoppe, cupcakes, ballet steps and more.  I was once again anxious to do the event because I thought, oh damn, I'll probably slow everyone down because I will have to stop and walk.  But that did not happen, I ran the whole way with no pain. 

It was a fun day, with beer!

Things I have in common with my dog Struth

People always say that dogs and their "people" look alike.  I'd say that is true for Struth and me, even if he is a boy.  We also have a lot in common.  Here they are:

•     Struth and I wear the same colors!  We love black, grey, white either separately or all combos of these colors!
  

  
•    Struth and I both have small feet for our size.  He looks like a burly dude, but he has dainty little feet.  I have the same size feet as my mother who is 5 inches shorter than me!
•    Struth and I both get very excited for cookies.  Our favorite is Peanut Butter. 
•    Struth and I both learned to swim at an early age and still LOVE to swim.
•    We both like to get up and eat, we burn calories sleeping.
•    We LOVE taking naps on the back porch in the sun. 
•    Often, we think we have more energy than we actually do.....we do too much in one day
•    We both make noises in our sleep.  Last night Struth was chasing squirrels in his sleep for like 20 minutes, no wonder he woke up hungry.
•    Struth and I will both be marking the course at CCC100.  Because he does not have opposable thumbs, I will tie the markers to the trees.  We both will eat treats along the way.
•   Struth and I are both quite fond of Ella and Owen, (Owen not pictured)



Ella



•   Struth and I both LOVE running, especially on the trails.

Speaking of that...running in general and on the trails....I am totally missing it!  WE are totally missing it.  Yesterday after boxing I decided to test the old leg by running the 4 mile loop.  I was already warmed up from boxing so I thought I'd see how things were going after cutting back severely on miles.  By the 2nd mile, I felt so good that I decided to tack on a mile and do the 5 mile loop.  Usually Struth is dragging a bit here, but he was right up there at my side.  We were both grinning.  We completed the 5 mile loop with only 1 stop to stretch.  That is a good indication that things are progressing!  (albeit slowly)  I was hoping for no stops, but really, I've only been "resting" from running for a few weeks.  I managed to beat my index finger knuckles raw yesterday in boxing....I have had to wrap them up for work.  I have little finger condoms on, which fits right in here where I work at the STD Clinic!



Idle Hands are the Devil's Tool

Training for ultra's keeps someone like me from going crazy.  I cannot sit still and I don't ever realise I am tired until my head hits the pillow.  I always think of things to do when I am relaxing, but in all reality, I find  exercising relaxing.  So I do it a lot.  Of course there are things that I find cathartic, like cleaning, going through drawers and giving stuff away that I don't use, recylcing, etc.  And I do enjoy to sit around to rejuvenate.  However, since I train for ultra's, I am used to a certain lifestyle of exercising a lot and eating a lot.  Now that I am not running Cascade Crest next month, there is no need to do a bunch of running.  In fact, that is exactly what I don't want to do, a bunch of running.  That is what got me out of running currently; running too much.  So what to do. . . . .
Well, that boxing classes keep me busy.  I recently started a 5 AM class.  No, that is NOT a typo, I get up at 4:30 and jog the quarter mile to the class, sweat, get my heart rate completely jacked up, jog home and then get ready for work.  I think even my dog is bewildered by my early rise, but I just love this class and I so I don't mind getting up that early.  Then I am at work early and hence, home earlier than usual.  It's the same schedule, just a few hours earlier.
I thought I might be just totally regretting my decision about CCC100, and at times I do, but in my heart, I know it is the right thing to do.  I figure now is the time to experiment with other activities that I wouldn't ordinarily do just for the experience, as long as it doesn't set the healing process back.  Owen and I were driving out to a BBQ and we a wrong turn.  I was spacing out in the passengers seat and I looked out the window and saw this sign, EMERALD CITY TRAPEZE ARTS.  Um...what is that?  When we got home from the BBQ, I looked it up.  I discovered that they have beginners classes for aerial. Um, that sounds interesting.  I got to work on Monday and I asked this co-worker of mine, who used to be in the roller derby, if she wanted to join me in a beginners aerial class.  She thought about it and ultimately said YES!  So, last night we went.  It is a 2 hour class and let me tell you, I have some "rope" burn, or "silk fabric" burn.  I am not as sore as I thought I would be, just a bit beat up.  I was nervous at first, just to climb the fabric.  You rub resin on your hand for good grip and then hope not to death claw the fabric and trust your body to hold yourself up.  We started out with regular fabric climbing.  I have never been good at rope climbing.  In fact. in grade school, my gym teacher made me feel so bad for not being able to climb the rope.  I was a bit overweight shall we say in grade school which is hard enough.  Then to add salt to the wound, the gym teacher makes me feel bad for not being able to climb the rope....well, whatever.  So, I climb about half way up and I am out of breath.  We tried that a few times and then did the "kitty in the tree" which requires being upside down and once we "mastered" that, we went to the "hammock".  This is the hammock:

That is NOT, me, I got this image of the Internet, but this is what we did.  And I did not look as graceful.  After that, the instructor asked us to try the fabric climbing one more time as we had spend a bit more time with the fabric and maybe we might feel more comfortable.  So I did.  I got on the fabric and I climbed all the way to the ceiling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I could not believe it!  It was an accomplishment for me.  It is true what people say, it is mostly legs that get you up there.  But before your legs can do the work, your mind has to believe it.  It might sound silly that I am excited about climbing this fabric, but hey, I was a new experience for me and I am not that comfortable with heights.  I am sure I will go back again, I'd like to learn some other moves.  It was such a nice change to the same old thing.  When I get back to training for ultra's again, I will be glad that I tried new things while I had the time. 

Hitting the Reset Button

I was lucky enough to visit my parents in early July this summer.  I was "surprising" my dad for his 72nd birthday.  I put that in quotes because he knew something was up, that I was coming, but he didn't know when.  Technically I did surprise him when I showed up with balloons, champagne and reading a poem I wrote him in a blond wig.

Being in North Carolina was completely awesome.  After spending the first part of the summer in Seattle with temperatures barely reaching 65* with rain and clouds, I was ready to jump in the heat and get thawed out, dried up and restore some heat in my bones.  That happened rather quickly.  I played tennis with dad in the mid day heat, went running most every day.  However, one of the highlights of the trip was going to the BEACH!

I absolutely love the sand, swimming in ocean and being transported through sight and sound to a different world known to me as THE BEACH.  I grew up swimming in the Atlantic and being there this summer just brought me back to being a kid.  As I floated, body surfed, dove under waves and bobbed around, I could feel the stress I have been feeling just get washed away in the salty waves.  Whenever I would get pummeled by a wave, I would crack up!  There is something about being in the ocean in warm salty water that brings me much serenity.  I could stay in there for hours and never get bored.  It was incredible to see my parents, married for nearly 50 years and having known each other since kindergarten, laughing together in the ocean.  That image is burned in my memory, it is an image of love and commitment, that is for sure.   And of course, what goes perfectly with a day a the beach....?  Well, ice cream or frozen custard of course!

After 2 days and the beach, we left and the next day I flew home.  I was still on vacation for a few more days from work and had planned to run around Mt St Helen's for my birthday.  After talking to the ranger, we decided that route finding in 8 feet of snow did not sound like a relaxing birthday adventure.  We opted to run in the North Cascades, however, it rained a lot of the day and I forgot my rain jacket.  Oh well, you'd think by now I would remember the essentials, but no.....  It was a fun day anyhow.

While I was in North Carolina and really since Big Horn, my leg pain has not subsided.  It seemed to be getting better before Big Horn and I was feeling optimistic.  I ran Big Horn and didn't run for a week and then gradually started running and resuming the boxing classes.  I am back to where I started with the leg issues.  I cannot complete the 4 mile loop near my house without stopping at least twice to walk.  The other day I went to the trails to run and I had to walk about 1/3 of the time on account of my leg.  It was then I decided that I would not participate at Cascade Crest 100 next month.  Sometimes my leg warms up and I have a great run, but lots of times, I just walk and run and "get through" a run.  This has been going on too long, a year and a half now.  I thought I had tried everything but now I am trying something different.  After reflecting on the book/memoir "Touching the Void", I decided to mix it up.  This book is written by Simon Yates.  Simon had a nearly fatal experience attempting to climb Siula Grande in the Peruvian Andes.  This peak is 20,813 ft in elevation and he and his climbing partner attempted to climb this.  They had some issues going up but the sh&&t really hit the fan on their way down.  Simon was belaying down and was attached to his partner by rope who was anchored on the mountain.  Simon goes down and somehow swings into the mountain, breaks his knee and swings away from the mountain and finds himself suspended in air, hanging from the rope with no way to get contact with the mountain.  He cannot communicate this with his partner either as they are not in ear shot of one another.  His partner is up above him, wondering what is going on.  The continual weight of Simon is wearing on his partner and his partner is having a hard time holding on to the rope and staying anchored into the mountain.  The partner has to make a decision, should he continue to hang on and put himself in danger of falling off the mountain or should hevcut the rope to save himself.  What a decision!  Eventually, he decides to cut the rope!  When he cuts the rope, Simon goes flying down the mountain in mid air and lands in a crevasse.  He is submerged in snow and mountain with a broken knee.  He has no provisions with him either.  For days he tries to crawl out of the crevasse any way he can.  When he fails time and time again, he yells and screams for help, but no one can hear him.  He keeps trying to climb out and he still is in the same position.  After a few days, he realizes that this could be the end.  His will to live is so strong that he decided to do something totally counter intuitive.  What he does is he LET's GO and immediately slides down the crevasse.  He is going deeper and deeper down and the eventually, he shoots out the bottom of the crevasse and is once again out in the air and on snow.  Now he has a chance to survive.  It's truly an amazing story.  I won't tell you the end as it's a really good read, but obviously he wrote this book so that's a pretty big indication that he survives!  Anyway, the take away message for me is that when I have tried everything I can think of, or have the will to try, and it doesn't work, then I must let go, dig deeper and try something new.  I realize that this situation with my leg and running 100 milers does not even make it on the radar screen with what Simon was up against, but the book has always been a reminder to me to always be in motion trying to fix, solve, resolve or overcome what is ailing me.  I have known for quite some time that if I stopped running so much that I would heal quicker, but I did not WANT to do that.  But now is the time.  I WANT to run CCC100, I WANT to run the 4 mile loop without stopping, I WANT to ride my bike without having to get off of it and push it.  But because I can't do the two latters, it leaves the former in question.  So, I am letting go of CCC100 and trying a new approach.  I can still do my beloved boxing classes and go for trail runs here and there.  But now the pressure is off to find a solution before the next race only to find myself back where I started.  I will cheer my friends on at CCC and volunteer, pace Owen for some miles, but other than that, it's time to get on a different path. As Erin says in Jasyoga, I am going to hit the reset button.  Although I am personally disappointed in not running CCC, I know I am doing the right thing.  In the long run, it is the best thing, (no pun intended).  I'll be there cheering friends on and pacing Owen for part of it and hopefully volunteering in other capacities.  And I also decided to join to fellow ultra runners for the Great Urban Race in August.  It's something different, why not?